BACKGROUND
I wish you all a happy international women’s day! I am sharing my story today with you all on SAP Blogging Platform as this is the platform that gave me the voice and identity to reach out to the global SAP audience and empowered me to build a unique network with people across the world!
If my story can help at least one woman then I will truly be obliged. I am not taking you through the chapters of my life because I am successful but I am taking you through these choices as I think it can help many women to be happy and break stereotypical barriers and chase their dreams!
1. Don’t let criticism derail your dreams, use it to turn the tables around!
While I come from a very progressive and westernized family with a rich heritage and lineage, I and my sister didn't have a good start in our lives as others. I lost my dad when I was 3, it shattered my mom into pieces.
I saw my mom in tears many times during my childhood trying to battle the problems single-handed and secure our future. The world is a lot tougher for widows during those times, I didn't make it easy for her either as I was a walking tornado in the house who always broke the rules. On the other hand, she pulled herself together and worked hard to give us a bright future!
There are a lot of people who advised her to spend money on marrying us off as people thought it is not easy to get husbands for dark-skinned girls in INDIA.
| Choices | Result |
Use the Savings to buy me a computer and fund my education Or Use the Savings for marrying me off Choice Made: Use the Savings to buy me a computer and fund my education | Due to the bold choice that she took, we not only did well in our lives but we also got married off to handsome hunks! I don't think any fair-skinned girl in my school or relatives have got better husbands than ours! |
2. Don't take the default route, take the high road!
As a child, I never enjoyed mugging up textbooks to score more points in my exams and top the university like many of my friends. I loved understanding the concepts, challenging my tutors, and using concepts to solve the problems. I always loved to have my own touch to explain the answer in my own words. I kind of resisted copying and pasting the answers from the textbook even when the questions are directly from the book in an open book exam.
| Choices | Result |
Mug up the textbook and score more points and top the exam to beat the rat race Or Understand Concepts and Apply them and carve your unique path Choice Made: Understand Concepts and Apply them and carve your unique path | Due to the bold choice made, I was able to cope with different types of challenges in work and life! |
3. Be Self Aware, focus on what you have! Don't mull on things that you don't have!
I faced my first group discussion interview with one of the top companies in India at 19, I was scared to death when I found that I need to compete against top talent from reputed colleges who scored more marks and spoke more fluently in English compared to me.
| Choices | Result |
Keep QUIET and don't make a fool of yourself in front of others Or Pull yourself together to Observe, Learn from others during group discussion and use your friendly attitude to contribute ideas constructively Choice Made: Pull yourself together to Observe, Learn from others during group discussion and use your friendly attitude to contribute ideas constructively. There are many people who got disqualified as they didn't voice their opinions though they scored higher in exams than me ..they are also from top schools | Due to the bold choice made, I not only got the job in Wipro but I also received the award for my performance personally from the Chairman of Wipro, Mr.Azim Premji after 3 years! |
4. Don’t get offended when you are stereotyped, educate them!
While I really respect many women who made choices to sacrifice their dreams and work in the kitchen to support their family, I am unfortunately not one among them as cooking or doing household chores doesn't excite me that much. Many times, a lot of women made me feel that I am not as good as them. I care about my family as much as they do but that doesn't mean that I will focus on the same things that give them happiness.
| Choices | Result |
Get Offended and give up your dreams Or Educate them that while they are working hard in the kitchen for your family trying a different variety of dishes, you are working hard in the board rooms dealing with different stakeholders and challenges to give a great life for your family. In the essence, you are doing whatever you can to take care of your family just like them Choice Made: Educate them that while they are working hard in the kitchen for your family trying a different variety of dishes, you are working hard in the board rooms dealing with different stakeholders and challenges to give a great life for your family. In the essence, you are doing whatever you can to take care of your family just like them | Due to the bold choice made, I was not only able to do what I love to do but was also able to provide my household with a better life and a job to my house help that built her life. |
5. Management is like chess, play the game according to your player strengths!
I generally take the time to get to know people beyond professional boundaries and CV'S to understand what drives them, what they value, what makes them happy! If you don't know those attributes then you will not be able to help them to reach their true potential. Management is like chess for me, you need to understand your team strengths and your opponent's weakness to win the game and deliver against customer expectations.
| Choices | Result |
Don't take time to develop your team as it can be painful and do difficult jobs yourself Or Take more time to develop your team and delegate the tasks once they are up to speed so that you focus on strategic initiatives for you to excel in other domains Choice Made: Take more time to develop your team and delegate the tasks once they are up to speed so that you focus on strategic initiatives for you to excel in other domains | Due to the bold choice made, I was not only able to focus on the other initiatives that helped me excel in other domains but I know I created an unstoppable army that will help me win and fight the battles in the future. You will win only when the team behind you is successful, happy, and have the courage to fight all odds for you to win! It doesn't matter how great you are, a team that is happy with just average skills can beat you! |
6.Pick the battles that you want to fight wisely!
This is a quote very close to my heart and I like to share it with you all!
In first few years of marriage, i fought to change people perceptions about me but it got me to a dead end.
I stopped and focussed on things that gave me happiness , i am a lot more happier in marriage ...perceptions doesnt bother me anymore as i dont have time for it..:)..
"A successful woman was asked to share her secret of success. She smiled and said "I started succeeding when I started leaving small fights for small fighters. I stopped fighting those who gossiped about me...I stopped fighting with my in-laws...I stopped fighting for attention...I stopped fighting to meet the public expectations of me...I stopped fighting for my rights with stupid people.I left such fights for those who have nothing else to fight...And I started fighting for my vision, my dreams, my ideas, and my destiny. The day I gave up on small fights is the day I started becoming successful. Some fights are not worth your
time."
| Choices | Result |
Focus on fighting people perceptions Or Focus on vision and ideas Choice Made: Focus on vision and ideas and dreams that excite me | Due to the bold choice made, I was able to change people's perception of me many times! |
Conclusion - Create your own Shoes
"Create your own shoes, don't try to fit into others"
I encourage all women to make choices based on what gives them happiness and a sense of fulfillment rather than making choices to fulfill the expectations of others.
When you are happy and feel your best, you perform your best!
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