for planning (MRP) have a look at 'Distribution Key for BOM Component'.Actual component staging for production is a separate topic with different tools and solutions: Pull List or Kanban or order based staging, etc.. Depends on your chosen approach (...

Look at 'BOM Explosion Number' or maybe 'Collective Order'. Both functionalities intended for make-to-order / make-to-project processes.

This sales order is not MRP relevant. It is displayed in MD04 just for info but does not affect the available quantity.Check sales order and material settings. Maybe sales order was created before setting strategy 40 in material master.